Transhumanist Cautiously Optimistic over Apple Watch
Fridley, Minnesota—Lenny “Zoltan” Krzmarphlek slowly removed his new Apple Watch from the packaging, making tiny, deliberate snips with his scissors. He placed the watch carefully on his wrist and locked in the strap.
“He’s been grinning like this for a day,” said Lenny’s wife, Sarah.
“It” is the change Lenny “Zoltan” has been anticipating for some time—the push of technology toward better. That is, better… everything.
Lenny “Zoltan” holds lofty goals: living far more than the staid four score years, knowing more than the other clerks at Home Depot (among other things)—even knowing what customers want before they speak.
Lenny “Zoltan” has been collecting bits of technology to help him do just that. He was an early adopter of Google Glass (despite being an Apple devotee: “One must make occasional compromises for higher goals,” he said). Mr. Krzmarphlek is never without his smart phone and constant Bluetooth connections to a variety of communication and diagnostic appliances littered over (and, ahem, in) his clothing and body.
“Zoltan is one of the most connected people you will meet this week,” said Sarah. Indeed, his blood pressure is displayed on the watch (“slightly elevated,” Lenny says) as he takes a call from his physician.
“No—just got the watch,” he says into his Bluetooth headset (which he wears even as he sleeps at night). He looks through his Google Glass at his wife and nods.
“Apple stock went down 1.8 percent and my core temp is up to 98.8 degrees,” he whispers, eyes wide.
“Apple stock will go up again,” said Sarah. “Have no doubt.”