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It Turns Out Time Is Not So Flexible

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My Wife Demonstrates Use of a “Clock”

I’ve always joked that I live in a time warp. Time actually moves backwards as I drive to my next meeting (which is not a confession of speeding, please understand).

I am of the tribe who refuses to leave what I’m doing to get to the next thing. In my mind—as I remain at my keyboard—myriad mental time and distance calculations convince me that of course I have plenty of time to get to that meeting. My watch is set ten minutes ahead so I am only five minutes late to things. (That’s a reasonable margin, right?) Of course there will be green lights. Certainly there will be no traffic—I count on it. Naturally I can shower/shave in five minutes and be ready. Absolutely.

As it turns out, my wife is able to use a clock. And she timed my five-minute shower. And then she asked me if I could take a shower and eat breakfast in five minutes.

“Yes,” I said. “Of course.”

“Twenty minutes,” she said.

“What’s that?”


So, here’s my new deal with the universe: I’ll give myself thirty minutes to shower and eat breakfast. And not just because my wife has had something to say about this for 27+ years. Perhaps peace with Mrs. Kirkistan—in this area—would be useful.


I’ll get started right away.

Just let me finish this thought.


Image Credit: Ryan Todd via thisisnthappiness

Written by kirkistan

August 19, 2013 at 5:00 am

Posted in curiosities, making mistakes

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3 Responses

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  1. Thank you for rerunning this column! I “can’t use a clock,” either! Our five-minutes-fast household clocks are somewhat helpful, but too often, I just do the math. Now, if I set them 13 minutes ahead, . . .


    August 19, 2013 at 7:20 am

    • Is it a harmless diversion, this setting of clocks ahead? I’m not sure after reading Seth Godin talk about our attention deficit. Thanks for reading–again!


      August 19, 2013 at 9:54 pm

  2. LOL


    August 19, 2013 at 9:00 am

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