conversation is an engine

A lot can happen in a conversation

Our Questions Help Us Do More Than Just Show Up

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No one expects a lightning bolt on Monday

don't be that gal

don’t be that gal

Daily routines condition us to low expectations for our everyday conversations. We assume most of today’s banter will be transactional (for instance): we’re just exchanging information or spreadsheets or paragraphs or money or whatever. I don’t expect anyone to reach down into my box of personal perplexities and provide a custom answer. We don’t expect to be changed by the people we see every day. We kinda know what they will say already. Right?

Some people in my life are thinking through career and other life questions. They are in the process of making decisions and perhaps a decision is due right now—so those questions are up near the surface of their daily experience. When questions and decisions lie near the surface, we show up with all our intentionality poised and ready to fire. Our impending decisions attune our antennae for anything that could help confirm or reject the choice—any help will do from whatever source, before we jump from pan to fire.

Living with clearly articulated questions makes it more likely we will ever find an answer. That’s not a bad strategy for everyday living.

What if we spent some of every day listening for answers to our own deep perplexities? What if we kept looking and hoping for lightning to hit us with insight? It is possible and even likely that answers and insights may flow from the very familiar people who surround us. But we would need to listen to them in a different way.

And sometimes we don’t realize we’ve been lighting-bolted until we’re walking down the hall after a chance encounter.

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Written by kirkistan

May 13, 2013 at 9:51 am

One Response

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  1. […] long thought the answers we get depend on the questions we ask. But those answers also depend on the tools we use to unearth the answers. Writing is my […]


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